Think Butterfly, Be Butterfly

Dear Elizabeth,

Change is something we all constantly experience. Some change is sudden and unexpected, some we see coming either begrudgingly or with arms open wide.The change I want to talk about today is often both.. appearing sudden and unexpected yet had been long before brewed;internal change which eventually brings about an external change. The kind that even if you used to have to have your sentences almost entirely censored a while back, the mere mention of an offensive word makes your insides curl up.. Problem is most times ,it is the most rejected form of change.

I have gone through multiple changes in my life streaming from change of style and palette to sense of humour and thought pattern and it is uncanny how regardless of how good the change may be, it is often accompanied with seemingly disapproving demeanours and a myriad of doubts. Recently I've been going through a new kind of change, a change in my heart.. Scripture calls the heart the wellspring of life;where our life springs from so that almost if not entirely brings forth a 360 change in so many areas. This has in turn caused me to change how I behave and respond outwardly. I am moved by things that barely caused me to bat a lid, I am more gracious in situations that would flare me up not too long ago and silent when there is room for sarcasm that I was only but too fond of among many other things. That is all extremely hard, especially the sarcasm because it is pretty funny but then again it can be just as hurtful but the hardest part of it all is that as mentioned above, the changes are in many senses being rejected through doubt, skepticism and disbelief. My not behaving as what would be labeled as my normal self instead of receiving accolades and applause is in many scenarios painting the opposite picture.

I have especially of late been hurt that many people still view me in my old nature and refer to me in that light. For so long, it bothered me and I just wanted everyone to catch up with this new me and to see that I am a whole different person but as far as they go, I still look,, talk, act the same.. a few change in response does not account for much. I would bet you relate in at the very lest one area of your life, where you turn over a new life but the old reference sticks and it leaves room for resignation into your old ways because after all, the treatment is the same. Resignation is easy, stay lazy that way when they say you are lazy, you actually are and really does not hurt...well as much cause truth can hurt but at-least it's truth. I also in some areas wondered why I even try and it wasn’t until just a day before I wrote this letter that God reminded me His own son went through quite a similar experience.

Everyone knew Jesus, He was a carpenter. He was good for making chairs and could probably do a great sandpaper job because His father was a carpenter too. Double threat. So how does He suddenly decide He is the messiah, a Saviour…33 years later. 33! How does he expect me from across the street who always beat him at soccer, assuming they played that back in the day, to now revere Him and treat Him any different. Sure He turned water into wine,or so it was told and some people claim that He healed them and He sure can talk some wisdom, that sermon on the mount was monumental but He is still a carpenter, He is still the son of Joseph. He is still that boy that fell multiple times and had bruises like every growing boy.

When people look at you sometimes, you are still that girl who drunk dialed your ex every Friday for multiple months, still the girl that was always last in class, still the most promiscuous in college, still the girl wit low self esteem and self worth, still that image of a former self. The image of who you were is so deeply engraved in some peoples minds that they simply will not let you live out who you are now. They will still hide when they see you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfLr8BvfxRs

coming their way even though you stopped shouting at them 3 years ago, will still not invite you to parties because you spike the drinks as a teenager and will refuse to promote you even if you haven’t committed any other crime since you stole some petty cash on a rainy day. Threatening to stifle your growth. Elizabeth, continue to change anyway.

I have been studying about butterflies…if am completely honest, I browsed the internet for about 30 minutes and read some but it felt like study to me. One of the butterflies that fascinated me the most was the mourning cloak, that name alone feels like bad news . The mourning cloak is a spike filled caterpillar whose sting alone is poisonous… Kinda like some of us have been, toxic in one way or another..but it undergoes a change called metamorphosis and becomes one of the most beautiful butterflies and on spotting it, you would probably not mind it resting on the palm of our hand but if you knew it was once the poisonous caterpillar, it may be a little hard believing it does not sting at all. So maybe it has wings and a new shade of colour… it’s still the mourning cloak. Jesus is still Jesus, you are still you.

Because really if you think about it Elizabeth, Jesus was always the messiah, the caterpillar was always a butterfly , you were always who you are becoming to be.. it just needed the right time. For just as the greatest work of transformation in the butterfly takes place when no one can see and it is hidden from plain sight,so do some of our deepest changes begin...from within. The word of truth says:

Therefore we do not lose heart, tough outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Who we are becoming is worth it all, it is who we were destined to be. God affirms that it is actually not just a destination but a pre-destination, been brewing long before.

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son...

In spite of the rejection and the hurt we encounter, we still rise. The rejection of this power that Jesus was now revealing did not make it any less. He still healed, still forgave sins and still brought us salvation. Despite Eliab seeing David as a shepherd, he still killed Goliath. Can you imagine if David said, you are right, am just a shepherd and gone back to the sheep, what a twist to the tale that would have been. Elizabeth, real change is not that which is perceived by man but that which is conceived by God. We can succumb into thinking like our caterpillar selves and crawling when we can fly, drinking when we know we kicked that old habit, being mean when it no longer gives you the pleasure, laughing at jokes that you no longer find funny or we can spread our wings and fly even though no one takes note of it. Because whether or not they recognize it, still you gain height and continue to rise.

Ps. This is not a blog, it's my letter to you.

Love, Mary:)