STEPPIN’

Am afraid Elizabeth . I don’t know if you ever are,but I am. Too afraid to post too often,too afraid to experiment with clothing , too afraid to share my gifts , too afraid to always say what I really mean ...the list is endless . I spoke, actually preached about fear once and mentioned that just the night before I jolted in my sleep cause I was afraid there was someone under my bed , not a monster , an actual person . I was so convinced that I dashed straight to my parents room and no longer a teen me was crying at their door . Fear ! Long story short, there was no one under my bed and my thoughts had become so vivid it felt like reality .

That‘s what fear does to us, at least me. It convinces me that things that are not are fact. It tells me that the girls in the corner talking about their favorite nail polish are discussing me , it tells me when I step on stage all people see is either a show off or someone not good enough depending on how I feel about what I was doing , it tells me that I am crazy to even dream what I’ve been dreaming and will most definitely fail. It sings different songs but with the same chorus of lies.

I have been afraid even when I didn’t think I was and thought I was just being rational to not make a move I should have made. Afraid even when I hadn’t believed so long. Fear replaces belief, it takes the place of faith. Fear is mentioned in different stories and a lot in the Bible , in the very first story where fear enters our very first ancestors . Barely gave us time before it begun its reign of terror . As I write I am reminded vividly of Peter . I’ve been thinking alot about him lately . My day dreams are no longer about cute boys who I wish knew my name but about boys like Peter, who may have been cute , and I try to imagine what they were thinking in different times of their lives and try to see myself in the story .

I remember Peter in the boat. That’s us, sailing away on the seas of life. Then the storm begins to rage , that is also life , storms of change and then Jesus comes in the picture , like He always does but like always we fail to recognize Him. Peter however sees Jesus. His words

“Take courage , it is I. Don‘t be afraid”

Jesus recognizes our fear but let’s us know He offers courage.Its easier said than done but what happens next is a part of the story many of us never get to in our lives , Peter steps out ,not onto dry land like we all hope for;that comfortable place in your pre set goals ,but into the water,an unknown , a place that promises a sink.

Peter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHf6b8LUYCw

stays afloat because like He is not alone . We are not alone . You are not alone . Peter eventually does sink because He lets in fear but Jesus catches Him. He will catch you Elizabeth. That’s what we forget , what I forget , that I am being called to a place where God already has been. Joshua was also a young man who was full of fear judging from the number of Rome’s God asked him to take courage but again He reminded Him , reminded us

“I am with you WHEREVER you May go”

Every day we are in different boats and are called to step out from time to time. Don’t ignore like the other disciples on the boat or be too afraid to take the step because you will not sink and say you do sink,God’s outstretched arm is there waiting to pull you . This has been me stepping and hoping to not sink but even if I do, I know He will hold me. I will not be afraid Elizabeth! I pray that you will not be either.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love power and of a sound mind ” 2 Tim 1:7

Ps. This is not a blog, it's my letter to you.

Love, Mary:)